So what is it about a child who lovingly gives something and then takes it back or destroys it when they feel they are in trouble? Anyone? Yeah, I can't answer that one either.
Yesterday is a prime example of this. We went to a place called Pump It Up for a birthday party. Great place to have parties and tires the kids out so bed time is easy peasy. Anyway, we get home and my #2 decides to GIVE me his balloon.
#2: Here mom, you can have my balloon.
Me: Thanks, that is very nice of you to share.
As the afternoon progresses he starts to antagonize his 2 brothers and they are about to lose it, big time. They tell him over and over to stop whatever it is he is doing.............he doesn't. What a surprise!
I walk over to him and take the items in his hand, his beloved dog (which he has had since the day he was born) and a soft ball with nobbies on it. As always I am deemed "The Bad Guy" and he begins his rant.
#2: Fine mom, I'm gonna take MY balloon back and POP it.
Me: Okay, if that is what you want to do.
#1 & #3: Mom he is going to pop your balloon!
Me: Yeah, that is typical! He always offers to give me something and then when he is in trouble or feels he is in trouble he takes it back and destroys it.
Who does that? Am I alone? I am at the point where I want to tell him NOT to GIVE me anything. There are always conditions with his "gifts" and I don't want them if I have to jump through hoops for the gift to be a "genuine" gift.
18 comments:
Maybe you should tell him that once he gives you something, it belongs to you and he can't destroy your property. Good luck!
LOL...NO you are not alone...but I would ask him how he would feel if you had not just taken away his dog, but destroyed it as well...and if he thinks that what he did was very nice...
Not that that would have worked on my kids...but it's all I got.
Ugh - wait till they're teens!
Yikes sounds like you got your hands full! Sorry I dont have any advice, but I do have a glass of wine ready for you anytime you are in Jersey, does that count?
I am perplexed! I never understand children and their idiosyncracies, but they sure are funny and cute!!!
i agree with the first few people that posted, although i don't have any hands on experiences in this matter yet!
good luck!
Oooh... Mine did that too. Once, she (about 4 y.o.) went and picked up a real nice glass & pewter candle holder that was given as a gift and threw it across the room and broke into pieces. As she has gotten older its changed.. 'you don't love me anymore' or 'I'm just gonna take my *insert item* back and give to *someone else*'
btw... the smashed candle holder stays in a drawer as evidence and a reminder of her bad temper and attitude.. also works for guilt trips. ;-)
Hey, it's kinda like when my dog throws up but then eats it.
Okay, it's nothing like that at all.
LOL @ Grand Pooba
my nephews do this ALL the time, you are NOT alone!
So glad to hear I am not the only one who faces these challenges.
Hi Suzi, thanks for visiting! Things around your house do sound a lot like mine LOL. My ODS just tells me he won't love me forever when I do things he doesn't like... I just tell him that's fine LOL.
Hi, stopping by from SITS.
I have an 8 yr old dramatic pre-teen acting daughter so I feel your pain!
hah.....I would have taken the balloon and popped it myself. Preempting my son when he was trying to be a tyrant always worked...
definately not alone. my son does that from time to time. However, he does love to give grandma things without any hesistation or thoughts of taking it back. Not the same for mommy..
OMG I'm not kidding--my friends took me to a place called Pump It Up for my bachelorette party!!
I agree with Yarni Gras...
Your last point was excellent! Unconditional gift-giving, unconditional love, unconditional support....but how do you teach that? I'll I can think of is by example!
I haven't hit that point with our week ones, yet. But I'm sure it's coming.
Sadly, I think adults sometimes do the same thing--instead they withdraw their friendship if they are mad or they stop looking at you or something along those lines. I think we're all sometimes selfish children at heart.
LOL @ Grand Pooba
~Shaye
I would really want to just walk up to him with that balloon and pop it right in front of him and then hand the balloon carcass to him. I wouldn't. But I would want to. ;)
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